#It's just so much fun and this team is just so stupid.

[mybelovedvi]

sniper sniper sniper...

“the world wants to know! what do you do? how’d you two meet?”

headcanons about bllk + haikyuu men and their wags! ib @/wttcsms ‘s post. feat. aiku oliver, yukimiya kenyu, itoshi sae, suna rintarou, miya atsumu, iwaizumi hajime. notes: f!reader, sfw. ik iwa isn’t an athlete post timeskip so he's the wag. holiday boredom is getting to me wc: 3k ish (500 words each)

aiku oliver and the striker!

growing up with oliver as your next door neighbour meant you two were practically joined by the hip- walks to school, lunch in the courtyard, movie nights, and most importantly, soccer practice. not that you played on the same team despite literally crying and pleading to the coaches, because apparently mixed teams in primary school wasn't an option? still, you shared the dream of becoming the best striker in the world, and pushed each other, both physically and mentally, to work daily towards that goal... until his coach tainted his dream with the philosophy of "playing for others." "they're stupid, don't listen to them," you'd told him, yet you could tell the words effected him more than he'd like to admit. in spite of the adults around him, he worked toward a new goal: to become the best defender in the world. the drastic change threw you for a loop originally, but chose to roll with it. turns out this was perfect, because now you've got someone who, after years and years of experience, can keep up with your offensive playstyle and really challenged you every time you had the ball, and somehow you both progressed faster than ever. the day you got drafted for the women's u20's team as their starting forward was the day oliver confessed his feelings for you, saying you are a 'true striker' and he vows to stay by your side, both on and off the pitch, and will do whatever it takes to ensure you get to the international stage.

at his games... named the power couple that dominates japanese soccer, there is a lot of media coverage when you're at oliver's games, and vice versa. you try to make all of his games, you really do, but sometimes it's just not possible with your packed schedule. although, your overseas trips are ten times more fun because the men and women's teams usually play foreign teams at the same time. on your off days, you'd sightsee, spend some time at the beach, try out way too fancy restaurants and splurge on way too expensive gelato. on his game days, you'd workout together in the morning and head to his training where you'll watch from the sidelines, sometimes even engage with the players and help with whatever they need. you're basically part of the team at this point- being oliver's girl helped, but mostly because you're one of the most respected players in the jfl. sendou was your favourite, as you were his (but he told you to not tell aiku), and the rest of the members are very protective of you, you're basically their mascot at this point. during the game you sit with coach and the subs, eyes trained on the captain as he heads another ball flying towards the goal. when they win, he ignores his screaming teammates trying to pile on top of each other, and make a beeline for where you're standing, tears now welling in your eyes with a smile so wide your cheeks start to hurt after a minute.

yukimiya kenyu and the photographer!

the first time you met was when he signed with the agency you were doing your photography internship at. both of you, bright eyed bushy tailed eighteen year olds were left in a room together, not saying a word (awkward!) while your mentor stepped out to grab some supplies. he was there for some professional headshots, and the entire session was filled with uhm’s and dry coughs and stolen glances. now that you're in your twenties and so much more comfortable with each other (you'd hope so, since he sealed the deal months ago), it's a memory you like to revisit from time to time and have a giggle at. while your husband is typically more reserved, still playful and charismatic but reserved nonetheless, you were more on the outgoing side. like a ray of sunshine, you tend to light up whichever room you enter with a smile on your face. that's one of his favourite traits about you- you've been a constant in his life these past couple of years and he's not sure where he'd be without your support. your relationship is picture-perfect, both his soccer and modelling careers are thriving, with brand deals left and right and plenty of opportunities to travel, and you get to go with him. your photography portfolio is filled with hundreds of shots of not only pieces seen in fashion magazines, but also stills of in-game action, courtesy to kenyu's coach allowing you to sit with the team, then later hiring you as their full time photographer. your photography-centric instagram account has almost half a million followers, since you post exclusive shots taken right in front of the pitch, and occasionally, pics of candlelit dinners or a dim bartop with your hands intertwined in the corner.

at his games... you're busy clicking away! you're decked out in his team's merch- ribbons in your hair, his jersey number painted on your face. you've got your camera set up ahead of time, while kenyu and his team were warming up, and you managed to get some cute shots of their team huddle before the whistle. sometimes you wish you could be in the stands, completely focused on cheering on kenyu's team, but you've still got a job to do. although you know jackshit about soccer overall, seeing the entire pitch through your camera lens almost lets you experience what the players are feeling in that moment, especially when the entire arena erupts in a wave of hollers and screams for a goal. during halftime, you're able to sit with your husband, dab his neck with a towel while he gulps down the lemon-infused water you brought specially for him, and whisper sweet nothings in his ear while he mentally prepares for the second half of the match. fans 'ooh' and 'aww' when you give him a peck on the lips before he runs on, waving to show off the lucky bracelet you gave him, and you have to turn away to hide your burning face.

itoshi sae and the childhood sweetheart!

i can’t imagine sae ending up with anyone that hasn’t been in his life from an early age, or at least from before he went to spain. since you were young, your parents (and his) had always assumed you'd end up with one of the itoshi brothers because you were so close with them, and since sae left for spain they thought rin was the only option. well, they thought wrong, as you and sae kept in contact throughout his time with re al, where you were honestly his only grounding factor amongst all the chaos. when he landed in japan, his first stop was to your apartment, where he asked to make you two official. your relationship was completely secret for a while, before you accidentally revealed to his teammates that you two have been together for nearly half a decade. he says it's because your relationship is nobody's business, but in reality, he just didn't want to share you with the prying eyes of the world. it's been a mystery to those around you how you managed to lure(?) the cold, blunt, serious itoshi sae into a romantic relationship with you, and truthfully, you didn't know yourself. he can be arrogant and seem to care about nothing aside from soccer, sure, but to you he'll forever be the little boy who had a dream and scoffed whenever he got "loser" on an icy pole stick; and you were just a decent human being who sent him digital hugs gifs when he was thousands of kilometers away from home, doing what he loved. on your private instagram for family and friends, you'd post pictures of you two, whether you went to a concert, the beach, or overseas. sae likes them all, he's also always the first to view your stories, likes those too, and makes sure to comment a heart on every single one.

at his games... you sit in the vip section, but more towards the back. you're not overly loud, only cheering and whooping with the rest of the crowd at a goal or an staggering play. when the winning goal is scored, thanks to a straight pass by sae, you don't wait for the roaring crowd to settle before you're sprinting down the stairs to wait for him in the athlete's only area. his teammates file in, nodding or giving you a side hug as hellos, until finally sae strolls in with his hands in pockets. without a word he pulls you straight in for a kiss, your teeth clashing and tugging on each others bottom lips. what you two don't realise is that, as you started devouring each others faces, the door was not yet closed, and your kiss was perfectly captured by a sneaky cameraman around the corner. by the next morning, articles about the "mystery girlfriend of japan's number one midfielder itoshi sae" are plastered all over social media, you came across a couple tiktok edits of your kiss too. "well, that's that," sae shrugs and chucks your phone to the foot of your bed before pulling you into his chest, planting a kiss on top your head. "go back to sleep,"

suna rintarou and the model!

you’d seen the ejp player on your socials many many times, but never had the privilege of meeting in person until both your managers decided fake dating for publicity would be a great idea. a hotshot volleyballer and this fashion season’s newest bombshell? people will go nuts. and they were absolutely right, because as soon as you posted a picture sitting in a luxurious red passenger seat, with a ring-clad, veiny hand on the gearshift that’s just within frame, comments and retweets rolled in like a new moon’s tide. after beating around the bush for a while, photos surfaced of you and rin strolling around a farmer’s market, iced coffees in hand. the gossip account’s carousel screamed domesticity and coquettish and you two just looked so comfortable with each other. your red carpet debut was just a month later, after one of the runway shows you opened. with a hand low and snug on your waist and a lazy yet content grin, rin stayed by your side the whole night. overall, everything is going fine and dandy, your only concern being the line between fake and real becoming increasingly blurred as time goes by. rin’s naturally flirtatious personality combined with your ability to overthink anything possible has got you wondering whether his charming compliments, lingering touches, late night calls, and raw protectiveness from outside criticism is his way of communicating his genuine love care for you.

at his games... you serve a off-duty model look, usually with jeans and a lush jacket, though it depends on the season. you’re an eye catcher in the crowd, with the stadium lights reflecting off your necklaces and bracelets and sunnies- you’re just shiny. you look absolutely perfect, not a single hair out of place and never caught off guard by the camera whilst either munching on some snacks you brought, or yawning behind your hand during their breaks. being such a high profile celebrity, though, presence at rin’s games can be a hassle because people want to take pictures with you, ask you for autographs or pull you aside for an interview with the sports channel. you politely decline every time, cutting to the chase and saying “i’m sorry, my boyfriend’s expecting me in the stands when the whistle blows,” and smoothly slipping past the mass gathered around you. when rin scans the crowd for you face and eventually see you sitting front and centre with a content expression and hands clasped together in your lap, he can’t help but send a lopsided grin your way, followed with a wink, which sends the young girls around you squealing to their friends. you can’t help but laugh, giving him then the jumbotron a wave, as your face, your name and the recent brand you paired with are shown on the big screen.

miya atsumu and the phd student!

i’m running with the “athlete bf x academic gf” trope here. i imagine you two met in university, when you shared a class that was way too boring for tsumu’s short attention span. so what does he choose to do? bounce his legs up and down like anyone would. and he would’ve kept going for the entire 90-minute lecture had you not turned around in your seat and sent him a glare for shaking the floor and the back of your seat. he probably never bounced his legs ever again afterwards because “a pretty girl glared at me to stop, so of course i have to comply!” by some miracle (that’s what you think anyway, not knowing atsumu’s deliberate actions), he ended up sitting behind you every lecture for the rest of the year. and at some point, he started frequenting the cute cafe on campus you part-time at, trying to rizz you up every time it was his turn to order. what started off with a “ugh! fine, i’ll go out with you, only so you’ll quit askin’!” ended with you moving into his shared flat with samu and sunarin not even three months later. whilst tsumu beelined for the v league after graduation, you headed on to do multiple postgrad years, publishing quite a few research articles on the way, and he couldn’t be more proud to have a girlfriend (soon to be wife) who’s the designated critical thinker in the relationship.

at his games... you sport one of his jersey plus face painted with his number, of course! although you don’t have a big online presence, your face is plastered all over tsumu’s instagram and tiktok. that, on top of being sat in the vip section means the jumbotron pans to you occasionally, you giving a light smile and wave each time. if you’re feeling bold, you’d send a wink towards tsumu, and whether he’d be on the court or resting with his water bottle, he’d send you one back without fail because his eyes are constantly on you. during the plays you’re loud and high spirited, your energy infecting those sat around you as you all cheer for each point msby scores. when atsumu goes to serve, knowing he likes totally silence in the arena, you tend sharply shush the people chatting next to you, and it’s definitely gotten you quite a few dirty looks over the years but who cares? of course, atsumu’s favourite way to celebrate is spending time with you. it warms him knowing at the end of each game you’ll be waiting by the gymnasium doors, arms wide open whether they won or lost.

iwaizumi hajime (the wag) and the softballer!

since softball is one of the most popular sports in japan (by association tbh), your games typically get a lot of media coverage, and that's how iwaizumi hajime learnt who you were. he never expected to actually meet you in person, until one day he saw you in the gym where he frequents, and after literally weeks of countless double takes, he finally had the courage to speak to you. did he know a lot about softball? no, you thought it was funny how he misused words like gas and bunt, but you found his flustered stuttering so cute that you couldn't help but accept his offer to a date. turns out you two had a lot in common, aside from the tough exterior and doberman-like personalities, and soon enough your relationship revolved around outdoorsy and adrenaline seeking activities, but also a lot of late nights and reassurances and at-home physio by the best athletic trainer. the teams hajime's in charge of love you, of course knowing your capabilities as an athlete, but also because you're just a down to earth, well spoken person who's never afraid to give hajime a smack upside the head if he yells too often. neither of you post lots about your relationship online, opting to keep it more under wraps, but occasionally you'd upload a picture at a mountain top of the view and his back facing the camera. (ok so basically shohei and mamiko)

at your games... he sits right behind home plate, where he can see the entire field, where you know he'll be so you don't have to scan for him in the crowd. he's loud- cheering when you get a hit, yelling out curses when a runner's slide takes out your footing and sends you to the ground. during switches, he'd come down to the dugout and check you out for any aches or grazes you've got, and he'd stay until it's time for you to go on the field again. your team's used to his presence already, always scooching down the bench to make some space for him. after your matches, there are always posts on you two, whether it's from your teammates, friends or a random gossip account, gushing about how sweet you look sitting side by side- you in your sandy uniform, shirt untucked and unbuttoned, your hair falling out of its braid, and him in his black jeans and faded grey hoodie, your heads resting on one another.

[positivelybeastly]

The New Defenders #126

Hank, you goddamn goblin, just eat the burger, oh my god.

Also, the running joke in this series of Bobby and Warren just out of nowhere thinking the exact same simp thoughts about Moondragon will never not slay me.

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[lotus-pear]

finally started p5 royal ‼️‼️‼️‼️

expect some royal trio art soon they are my dearly beloveds (minus akechi i hope he dies in this reality too)

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[theyarebothgunshot]

well and what if i say that both sides are wrong, actually

[spacedlexi]

idk what people expect when they comment "other ship better" on my art. like ok? youre blocked now and im laughing at you

[leeb2s]

please for the love of god old tys avs fans help a poor fella out

i’ve been hunting down old avs content for tys. specifically when he interviewed the boys at one of the mile high dreams gala and the one where he’s bowling. i have photos there’s gotta be videos of that please i need them

[unnamed-atlas]

Having brain worms. What if uhhhhhh SOS Mianite au

[sarcasmchandlerbing]

Now this is what has to happen in the playoffs (according to me and my wishes) and also I will predict the outcome:

Florida Panthers has to beat the scary opponent. They can. They have the change. It might be a tough round 2 with these two and I will be scared. I hope I'm not going to start to hate the opposing team if they manage to win. Go Panthers! ❤

Carolina Hurricanes needs to get rid of of the big bad wolf. I am so scared of them (the big bad wolf) winning this whole thing it's not even funny. They can. Easily. Nothing can't stop them. But I hope Hurricanes can! I want Hurricanes to win so bad but I think the others might win 😬 I hope I am so wrong about this one! Go Hurricanes! ❤

Dallas Stars need to beat the other team. Who I think will win? Well, this might be a tough battle they are going to have. It could go either way I think. Go Stars! 💚

Vancouver Canucks, you have one job. To destroy the team which has already won in the past. No need for it again. So please please Canucks, win this. I don't know about this one, the enemies might win. Hope I'm wrong again! Go Canucks! 💙

[skenpiel]

i've been occasionally seeing you post about pokemon and i'm Curious,,,,,,,,,,,, what starter did you pick? and what's your team like!!!!

I PICKED CYNDAQUIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my team changes a lot cause 1. i get bothered if All my pokemon (including the ones in my pc) arent the same level and 2. theyre all underleveled as FUCK. but mainly i keep a farfetched and poliwhirl as my tm/hm slaves and then i just kinda, pick whoever else is in need of exp. currently its just my misdreavus and then some low level gastly and paras i caught cause they know hypnosis and stun spore and i am getting SICK and TIREDDDD of hunting for raikou -_-

[im-smart-i-swear]

Would the funky guys like listening to music? I feel like Buddy would cry listening to Moon will Sing by the Crane Wives

I really like the idea of the funky guys, pre-rescue, using singing to pass time - maybe tashi makes up silly little songs to make everyday chores more exciting for the kids, or eenek theaches everyone some galran songs(nobody except pal and soup really understand the words.. maybe thats for the better since i imagine galran songs that appeal to grief stricken 13 year olds arent suitable for kids lol), or pal has a memory of one of shiros favourite songs and sings it to the others, or soup hums melodies she overheard while being a gladiator to help taka fall asleep - JUST. singing as a love language.. good shit

and a very importrant thing to understand here is that none of them, een included, are good singers - theyre mediocre, bordering on pretty bad - but it doesnt matter! its about the human urge to connect! through music!! they sing their dumb songs and do stupid little dances and its great<3

post-rescue, suddenly they get access to practically infinite amounts of music from thousands of distinct cultures! but i think they generally stick to more mainstream stuff, the kind of songs you can sing along to with your family when it comes on the radio. tho buddy and taks(and also pal maybe<3) would propably explore more! .... oh. and taka definetly goes through an edgy phase at some point. so.... theres a lot of potential there

buddy is a sappy emotional trainwreck, they ABSOLUTELY get emotional over songs, so behold this historically accurate interpretation of him listening to the moon will sing for the first time:

also!

tashi and buddy are The Embarassing Older Sibling Duo, and they often start to (very badly)(and loudly) sing and dance in unison when they hear a song they both like- all the while taks is yelling at them to stop being annoying<3

this post is all over the place but oh well! i love em<3

[meownotgood]

au where I help aki heal his inner child by forcing him to play all of the games I hyperfixated on in my youth

[juusasu4evagrrl]

I’M BACK BITCHES ANDDD I BRING GIFTS!

I originally began writing down this AU last year with plans to send it as an anonymous ask to justsasuke, my all time favorite blog on here, much love to the pioneer of the juusasu ship. But it just got wayyy too long for all that so fingers crossed she sees it anyways. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 (unless you hate it and then nvm you saw nothing)

So basically while lying awake at like 11:55 last night my brain went, I bet Juugo would be good at basketball since he’s like so tall, and out of that thought this sexy ass college AU was born.

Okay lets set the scene

Our au starts freshman year at whatever college in whatever big city now lets talk majors and aspirations

Juugo gets in on a basketball scholarship but while he’s good and he kind of enjoys it, he’s not a baller like it’s not life to him. what he’s really pursuing is environmental sciences so he can become like a zoologist or a wildlife biologist or something like that and immerse himself in his true passions. Also he’s like a year or so older. Still a freshmen, just sticking with canon on this one cause it always made sense to me.

Sasuke is studying whatever the fuck he thinks will get him familial brownie points. The thing is he has NO CLUE what he actually wants to study or do. If he was true to himself he’d have taken a gap year to live a little. BUT big bro graduated high school like 2 years early, absolutely demolished running start, and got like three full rides to schools that brought a tear to fugakus eye. So his natural competitive streak and his desire to be seen as capable by Fugagku, coalesce into Sasuke just trying to follow in those footsteps. Now i wont say he’s failing but 1, he don’t even really wanna be there right now and 2, academics are just not his thing. Which sucks cause he doesn’t cope well with being bad at things. If it wasn’t for the super dope and driven friends he’s about to make school life would destroy his mental health, and he’d probably be directionless forever. Im not saying he’s dumb cause i don’t think that. Just that he’s really struggling to apply himself here.

Karin is there cause her creepy rich uncle Orochimaru said he’d pay for her college if she graduated high school, and only with a perfect 4.0 mind you. Our girls a double major. One in business and one in some type of chemistry so that after college she can attend a perfume school become a perfumer and start her own perfume empire the absolute girlboss. Shes the only one who knows exactly what they want to do from the jump. How she balances all this? We can only imagine but it is karin after all, and if anyones doing it it’s her. A woman’s resolve can break through steel after all. 😤

My fave, Suigetsu is also there I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how it might just have to be a plot hole I FIGURED IT OUT! Orochimaru is his dad hes our nepo baby. (So i guess that makes karin his hardworking cousin the Selena to his Haley if you will) ANYWAYS he’s studying marine engineering cause I guess I’m running out of ideas just shhh if you think really hard about it it kinda makes sense. Ok new thought. He changes his major halfway through to a martial arts studies degree, (this is important cause sasuke is gonna end up here too) with a minor in some sort of nutritionist something. He’s is gonna be a personal trainer i guess and to me, that makes sense. Also my aquarius brother lives and breaths the very mid nightlife at this school.

Scene set

Karin and Sasuke meet first and hit it off in so far as Karin is concerned. Sasuke however is there to get the degree and get out. He don’t want no friends, he didn’t even like the ones he had in high school. Eventually though he learns to tolerate her cause he’s moved seats like 5 times now and she’s found him

every

single

time.

Once past Sasukes initial resistance, they genuinely hit it off pretty quick. They’re both pretty introverted for college students so they have a lot of time to spend together. Sasuke is introverted cause he just is, but karin would be a party girl if she wasn’t so busy. They meet up for lunch and study sessions frequently. Sasuke enjoys the silence in these low key hang outs. Karin enjoys staring at sasuke during breaks in her working and acting ditsy when helping him with whatever he’s working on to make him do that cute little self gratified smirk and to hear his voice turn from quiet and disinterested to proud and engaged when explaining to her how shes wrong. Yes karin still has a crush on sasuke we all do moving on.

Juugo and suigetsu meet next. Kind of, they’re roommates so honestly they met first but whatever. Juugo wanted a single and after meeting Juugo so did Suigetsu. They get on okay but jugo lost interest in building a friendship with Suigestu after coming to find marine engineering ain’t got shit to do with marine biology, and suigestu mostly is just scared of Juugo. help me decide which one is the messy roommate that makes the other one consider requesting a new dorm everyday. (nvm its Juugo he happily lived in cave like duh) Anyway they don’t really start to get along until sasuke comes in the picture. (yes they all bond over their mutual desires to fuck sasuke its very canon compliant in that way)

Sasuke and suigetsu meet next at a party Karin coerced Sasuke into going to with her. At some point Karin fucks off with the girl she went to the party for in the first place, (who is Tayuya of sound5 fame btw) and Sasuke is left alone in the corner to stew in his feelings of betrayal. He didnt want to go in the first place and he only went to sit in the corner with Karin and make fun of peoples stupid try hard attitudes and inability to hold their stupid alcohol. People do try and talk to him but he successfully wards them off with his one word answers and an overall stank demeanor. Until suigetsu finds him and swears to himself that this is the sexiest man he has ever seen, he’s getting into those adidas track pants no matter what, and wow this boy can not dress. Sasukes one word answers and side eyes fall on deaf ears and hungry eyes. Suigetsu has effectively glued himself to Sasukes side and there is nothing Sasuke can do to stand it but keep knocking back the jungle juice. He cant tell which is worse the stupid alcohol or the endlessly talkative twink who keeps dodging his exasperated sighs. He has never enjoyed being talked at, and hes never overindulged in alcohol either (is this realistic I don’t know it sure is fun to imagine 14 year old team7 stealing a little something something someone and getting wasted for the first time together actually yeah lets say that happens but it happens in Sasukes bedroom Fugaku finds out and puts the fear of god in him and then he gets it again from Itachi who is probably who the stuff was stolen from and he learned his lesson didn’t touch booze again until just now) but every time suigetsu speaks he drinks and the night is getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He is a mellow and petulant drunk and one word responses turn into slightly wordier quips and mildly depressing personal anecdotes. Its right about now that Suigetsu is sure this here man is his future husband cause he was giving personalityless but worth a hookup before but now the personality is showing little and Suigetsus loving every slurred moment of it. The only problem is that Sasuke is drunk like drunk drunk he obviously wasnt feeling Suigetsu before and even if he is now (he’s not) there is absolutely zero chance of hooking up with this pretty faced little emo tonight. (pretty faced emo girl stop) So at this point Suigetsus only worries are A.) How am I gonna insure this boy remembers who I am tomorrow? B.) And this is been on his mind since the beginning of the night, how did this literal wet blanket of a man get here and why, like who is even is he? Finally C.) How am I getting outta all this without getting these 600 dollar McQueen sneaks vomited on.

The future husband thing was cute or whatever but Suigetsu must be really smitten to be standing in whoever’s truly nasty bathroom this is cleaning bright red pungent puke off his once shining white sneakers. Sasuke is currently slumped near the toilet staring judgmentally at suigetsus pinkish shoes and mumbling mostly unintelligibly about vanity and precious solitude. Suigetsu thinks the gist of it is probably something to the effect of leave me alone next time and I won’t projectile on your designer but really who is to say. Definitely not Sasuke, Sasuke still can’t (or won’t its difficult to tell with this one) even answer simple questions like what he’s doing here or who he’s here with. It wouldn’t even matter if he could cause karin has been gone for a minute now. Lets not blame her either cause she expected he’d leave 5 minutes after she and Tayuya did and she did text. The worst she’d expected to deal with would be some strongly worded replies or an especially quiet study sesh. Its decided Sasuke is coming back to the shared dorm room barring C all problems are accounted for with the solution.

Woooo that scene was long but its okay cause were meeting Juugo next and getting some would be romantic tension if i knew how to write romantic tension also taka is almost assembled yuhhh!! Prepare for some very poorly paraphrased dialog in apostrophes.

Suigetsu is oddly insistent on walking Sasuke back to his dorm so he’s just a little confused when instead of showing up in quiet lifeless single he enters chaotic double that smells so strongly of febreze and cannabis he can immediately feel an oh my god just open the damn window induced headache coming on. Still feeling woozy and uncharacteristically social from the booze, he’s about to ask whats his name in the mugler turtleneck (the stars on the turtleneck were more engaging to sasuke then anything else going on duh suigetsus gonna name drop the designer yes this is what he remembers lol it don’t make sense IK but its my mission to make Suigetsu as swaged out as is possibly possible) about the window when the door to the dorm busts open and in walks Juugo angry as hell on some

‘Why did you text me about some boy staying over i already said you can not have hookups in here if you wanna slut yourself out to this school your gonna have to get creative cause the boundaries of this dorm situation were set and agreed upon day one this is my sanctuary and smoke spot not your sex dungeon rah rah rah rah’

Its occurring very slowly to Sasuke that he may have gotten himself into an unsavory situation but before he can say anything suigetsu says it for him.

‘oh my god he’s I’m not sleeping with him’

just barely biting back a not tonight at least he continues

‘i met him at Jirobo’s (I’m having so much fun adding in random sound5 characters Kimimaro is still dead tho rip 😔) kickback he wasnt vibing and I cant blame him shit was so dry so since he was drunk off his ass anyways and couldn’t give me any contacts I brought him here to sleep it off so he’ll wake up tomorrow and see me as his savior and then i son’t know we’ll go from there don’t hate cause you cant pull 10s like me Juugo’

Juugo is not hating, he would be cause suigetsu sounds objectively dumb right now, but he just noticed Sasuke. True to cannon his demeanor changes instantly from ready to tussle to totally transfixed as his full attention is focused on staring at a still slightly intoxicated Uchiha Sasuke.

Sasuke has noticed, and is 35% focused on staring back at Juugo who looks like a character out of the real manga and sauke is very appreciative of it, and 65% trying to process what the fuck suigetsu just said. Weather his delay is because of the booze or the baller is, unclear to him. So now its just three dudes in a dirty ass dorm room staring at each other. (😏) Sasuke breaks both the eye contact with Juugo and the silence directing a

‘you did not pull me dumbass you kidnapped me and theres no way im staying here tonight don’t even worry about it Juugo’

straight to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu is so over it by now and he adds up the ruined McQueens plus sasukes continued disinterest to equal a disappointing L and having cast off his soiled kicks he flops down onto his milky white satin sheets back to the room disengaged.

Juugo however could, not be any more the opposite not only does he find sasuke quite nice to look at and would be disappointed to see him go without getting a little social repertoire established. He’s so incredibly shocked that sasuke is still standing upright and albeit slowly engaging with the world around him. He’s pretty sure if he lets him leave he’ll find him passed out on the lobby floor tomorrow morning, so after another minute or so of fondly watching sasuke fumble with the zipper of his plain black jacket he offers a tentative

‘you know what I really don’t care you can stay here tonight its already so late just, yeah just stay.’

‘Yeah you can just like curl up in the mountain of unwashed basketball shorts they smell so amazing’

Suigetsu chimes in sarcastically

‘okay okay and how do you know they smell so bad freak’

juugo shoots back (basketball pun haha)

‘cause i can smell you from here you cretin’

Sasuke stumbles past the bickering and heads for the door completely uninterested in this petty roommate dispute he briefly wonders what happened to his adidas slide while he grabs at his pockets for a minute searching for his phone to call Karin before joining the dispute with a,

‘oh my god dumbass you made me leave my phone in that wasteland bathroom dickhead Im not going back there so either your gonna buy me a new Samsung or-‘

suigetsu cuts him off,

‘you are the absolute worst kind of drunk actually I have your phone right here dummy’

he pulls the phone out of the pocket of his dolce&gabbana cargos (yeah when i said orochimarus rich I meant rich rich designer head to toe the sheets are probably designer bitch) and throws it directly at sasuke

juugo takes this moment to display his sickening basketball skills and intercepts the throw holding the phone above his head he says,

‘look man just stay okay you can have my bed i’ll sleep on the laundry im keeping this right now but you can call your friend in the morning I’m not busy til late tomorrow so i’ll help you find your way out of here if you need to get to a class but your already here so you might as well just stay’

Sasuke doesn’t feel all that much like walking anyways so he turns to juugos sheetless mattress and then to Suigetsu and says

‘give me your bed you bastard you owe me anyways’

suigetsu is not entirely sure why he would owe this bitch anything at all but he takes the opportunity to shoot his final shot,

‘how bout we share’

Sasuke decides to sleep on top of Juugos worse for wear comforter.

Sasuke, having stolen his phone from Juugo on some mission impossible shit, leaves before anybody else wakes up with no intention of ever returning. but since Karin and Tayuya hit it off actually his only friend has less time to spend with him. So he decides to link up with suigetsu and juugo since they’re the only other people he’s said more then 5 words to. Eventually they get tapped into the study seshes when suigetsu essentially invites himself to join much to karins chagrin.

Boom taka assembled.

Alrigttt thats all I wrote. I wanna write more about this au like where everyone comes from and how the relationships proceed from here and the whole thing is supposed to be a juusasu get together moment and we barely even touched on that but we’ll see if i ever get around to that.

Disclaimers: i dont know anything about basketball and i still haven’t gotten my ged so I have not been to college YET 🤪 on the bright side when i do get there ill probably be 21 already and ppl will flock to me for my id privileges 😌 i tried to make this as legible as i possibly could going through, adding punctuation, and removing some of my rambling. But i also left a lot of it in though like the crossed out text, the crazy parentheses notes (which i hope are not too confusing), and all the emojis, and i chose this just so you can really see the way the story just came together randomly and how much fun i was having writing this clusterfuck of shitty college movie cliches.

[cuntstable]

anyways apologies for being crazy but recently ive been trying desparately to parse if araki often having drawn pucci not wearing the white part of his priest collar and instead it showing his throath is like a purposeful symbolic descision or if it was like simply him. literally just forgetting to draw it or misscoloring the values of it lol

[darkdragon768]

From time to time I do think about my pmd story and the little guys in it again.

I miss them.